Clever Bastard
I ordered in some Chinese food last night, about two meals’ worth. The bill came to $14.75. The delivery guy handed me the food and the check, and I did some math in my head. I figured I’d give $17, nice enough of a tip. I handed the guy a twenty, and asked for “three back.” He confirmed this, “three back.” Then, he takes out the folded-over wad of money from his pocket, installs the 20 at the center, ands unfolds three ones from the outside layer (but doesn’t remove them, they’re still partially tucked under the bunch.) He hands me my change, I bid him good night, and he scurries away with a flash. Satisfied and hungry, I examine my change – two dollars.
I think about this for a few seconds: It’s only a dollar, so I don’t really care – but I asked for three back and he confirmed the three. Unless we just nodded to placate each other, and he was going to take three and give me two back regardless…
He screwed me out of a dollar.
A measly dollar. But MY dollar, after a moderately generous tip.
Far from boycotting his restaurant, I did the only other thing (besides including it here) that would make a difference. I told my roommate, who had just gotten back to the apartment:
“If there’s a delivery guy from [one particular delivery place] who’s very uppity and wears glasses, watch out – he’ll steal your dollar.”
Almost half-joking. Just relating an anecdote.
But then my roommate says, “Wait a second…did you ask for three back and he gave you two?”
“Yes–”
“Holy shit!…The same exact thing happened to me last night!”
I was not mistaken about the three back. It turns out this dude’s running a scam. One dollar at a time. He’s a sleight-of-hand artist. And he has the BALLS to pull it on two roommates on consecutive nights.
You’re on our list, Uppity Guy. You’ll never get another decent tip from us again — that is, if you haven’t taken your loot and moved to Fiji by now.
2 Comments »
February 4th, 2005 at 10:08 pm
Order from them again. But next time, pretend to drop the money on the floor of your apartment. When he greedily attempts to bend over and to pick it up and add it to his pathetic bankroll, grab him by the belt and yank him inside the apartment. And then, the fun begins. Keep your Beating Stick in handy range at the door, and make sure your roommate is around to plant his foot into his ass a few times.
There is no feeling in the world like righteous anger, released onto the appropriate target.
http://www.fastanddumb.blogspot.com/
February 4th, 2005 at 10:42 pm
I think I’m going to write a little story to that effect, actually. This scam was pulled on me once too, and I imagined insaneo acts of revenge if I had ever seen him again. I didn’t. It’s one of the oldest rip-off tricks around, too.