Dan Mooney

On Sunday night, I did laundry. So much for the day of rest.

(No rats this time, either. Different laundromat.)

But I won’t dissect the idiosyncracies of laundry culture; not here, not now.

Because Providence said hello to me. And it wore a hat.

I had put my clothes in the washing machine, and walked back towards the front of the rather spacious laundromat, where they have set up a few tables, magazine rack, etc. TV blaring. I sat down and whipped out a book (Oroonoko, from the 17th century. It’s my job to read archaic literature, to figure out how to make it interesting. Seriously.)

I had my headphones in, without any music playing. Sometimes I do it to keep a portion of the noise out. Sometimes I just want people to leave me the hell alone.

Well, my wish wasn’t granted. With my peripheral vision, I spy a guy approaching me, a guy who’d just entered from the STREET. I thought…ah fuck it, lemme just give you the dialogue:

INT. LAUNDROMAT — NIGHT.

A STRANGER enters, a black male, late 20’s. He is handsome and well dressed in dark colors; shoes, pants, topcoat, gloves and hat are all black or grey. DAN, nowadays sporting shaggy chestnut hair, sideburns, lazy chin scruff, army jacket, blue jeans, is seated at a table, slouching backward a bit.

S: Excuse me, sir.

DAN, headphones still in, looks up.

S: Can I ask you a few questions?

DAN, staring blankly, removes headphones.

D: What can I do for you?

S: I was just wondering if you would be interested in narration?

D: What kind of narration?

S: For a project I’m working on.

D: What are you pitching, a product, or an organization?

S: Cars.

D: Okay.

S: So would you be free for an audition tomorrow? First, are you an actor?

D: Me? No.

S: Oh, okay. Are you well-spoken?

D: I like to think so.

S: Are you shy?

D: I used to be, but not anymore.

S: Ah.

D: So what would I be doing exactly?

S: You’d be a spokesperson, in front of large crowds.

D: Huh. You say the audition’s tomorrow?

S: Yes.

D: I’m sorry, I won’t be able to make it tomorrow, I’m working all day [a true statement]. Do you have a card? Maybe I can get back to you with a better time later in the week, or at least to discuss it further with you.

S: Oh, this job wouldn’t happen soon, it’d be this October through next March.

D: Alright. I mean, it sounds interesting, whatever it is.

S: How old are you?

D: Twenty-three.

S: Is there anything tying you down here in New York? Like, if we had to send you to Los Angeles for ten days, would you be able to?

D: Y’know, I don’t know. I’m still finishing up a graduate degree — I really don’t know where I’ll be in three months, let alone eight or nine.

S: Oh, okay. Sorry to bother you then.

STRANGER smiles courteously.

DAN smiles as well.

D: No trouble at all. Have a good one.

And…..scene.

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