Don’t Blink–
This is my one and only planned venture into self-deprecation. That stuff works in person, but in writing, it reeks of self-doubt. I don’t normally like it.
This tidbit happened last week, in the midst of all those rants… Karma? No, no, just ice.
I’d gone to the supermarket around the corner right before dinnertime, just as it’s getting real dark outside, 6:30 or so. It’s European of me, and I enjoy it, to buy the food I’m going to eat that day, that day. Except for breakfast, which I like to have in the apartment so I don’t have to leave before showering.
Anyway, I went to the supermarket and got two bags worth of dinner food, cereal and milk.
My street, despite being in New York City, is low-traffic. So instead of waiting to cross at the corner, if there’s a red HAND held up in my general direction, I’ll just walk towards the middle of the block, play Frogger with slow-moving traffic and jaywalk across in the vicinity of my building. Which is on the other side.
I spotted an large empty space between two parked cars, and went for it. There was a sheet of ice (my low-traffic street also gets hardly any sun – one of three detriments of NYC living), but I had my heavier shoes on, the ones with the treads, not sneakers. Slow and steady, it’d be no big deal, right?
Well, my shoulder disagreed, because that’s what I fell on. I’m a tall guy, so it took me about three seconds to fall entirely, but after I had, it was a mess. iPod detached and thrown, shoulder banged, plastic milk carton sorta cracked. Ego a pulpy mess.
I felt like a jackass because for that minute, I was.
But for some reason, those self-conscious emotions were tempered by the guy who had just turned the corner, seeing me prostrate on 13th Street, and sincerely asked me:
“Hey, buddy, did you get hit by that cab??”
2 Comments »
March 15th, 2005 at 6:10 pm
Sorry your shoulder hurts…but not too sorry because that gave me a laugh and that will help me push through this last hour of work.
March 15th, 2005 at 10:05 pm
At least he didn’t laugh.
I saw this woman wipe out last week, also on the ice, and her pratfall was so comic that I just couldn’t contain my laughter. I laughed this Homer Simpson, healthy, I’m-a-jerk kind of laughter, and earned myself a hateful look from the woman as she hauled herself out of the slush.
I may have even pointed at her, in the throes of my joy. Just a reaction, I couldn’t help it. Something is funny, I laugh.
Later that day, I stepped off my bus, and my ancient Docs slipped on the curb, sending my ass directly into a heap of salty, soggy snow. The universe had her revenge on me.
-A