1046 Broad St
Meriden, CT 06450
Visited: February 28, 2010

I never really thought I’d set foot in Meriden again. I’d pass it on the way to and from Boston, sure, but after the girl and I stopped seeing each other, I never thought anything could bring me back.

Then I saw Hamburger Paradise.

This show spoke to me, man. I first saw it on the Travel Channel last year, I think. They profiled several restaurants from around the country, famous for their burgers for one reason or another, ingredients or preparation or the restaurant itself. The show rundown can be accessed here, though they misspell Meriden as “Meridian” which is neither here nor there. It is one among many “Paradise” shows the Channel runs every so often, each of which is inviting in its own way. But this burger show was most interesting to me, not least because of my previous connection to this town.

My attention piqued, I was drawn in by the unique method of burger/cheese preparation: they’re steamed. Steamed hamburgers. Patties packed into little trays that go into a steam box, like the interior drawers of an armoire, or in a manlier example, those short, wide drawers of a tool chest. I garnered all this from the episode, which also featured testimonials praising the gooiness of the cheese, melted but also ductile. My recollection was that this would be a fantastic place to visit.

This trip wouldn’t be the first time I’d trekked out of state exclusively for GReat American Food. I’ll address that trip in a later entry, after my scheduled revisit of the place. I roped two friends (both savvy enough to have cars, only one of which we drove) into making the trip with me. It’d be about 90 miles, but the road trip itself is part of the fun of it, of course. Right?

Hours and hours after having left, the three of us arrived in front of the restaurant you see above. I’d seen the inside of the place on the show, but was secretly hoping they would at least address the Simpsons skit where Principal Skinner impresses Superintendent Chalmers with his “Steamed Hams,” supposedly straight outta Albany. I guess a picture honoring this was too much to hope for, but just know that the three of us discussed this possibility a full week beforehand.

I ordered a cheeseburger with a side of potatoes, which looked like spiced, roasted potatoes, cut into eighths. Not bad. I’d waited a long time to come to the restaurant, but only a little bit longer for the burger itself. I took that first bite and… well, the cheese was as advertised. The burger itself, for all the ingenuity involved, was missing something–

When Hamburger Paradise re-aired, I watched the Ted’s section again. These lines jumped out at me:

Narrator: “But why are steamed burgers so popular? And what does steam actually do to a burger anyway?”

Paul Duberek, son of founder Ted Duberek: “The biggest difference is that all that meat is cooked at the same time. When you grill something, you sear top and bottom and whatever’s in there stays in there. Our product, you can actually pour the fat off and it makes for a healthier burger.”

What the burger was missing was flavor. What stays in a grilled burger is a lot of the fat and the precious flavor that it contains. Ted’s burger was missing so much of that. The quality of the meat was good, it tasted very fresh, but I was left with the mild satisfaction of a turkey burger, savory only in its sensibility. There was no seasoning: The best bites of Ted’s burger were the last few after I had salted and peppered it. Even those minor additions went a long way and could have been incorporated to begin with.

Seeing that clip again made me rethink the endeavor. If I’d seen the show again just before the trip, I might not have dragged us so far away: That’s a long way to go for a healthy burger. I can avoid Josie’s right here in the city. I don’t regret it exactly, but I wouldn’t make an explicit effort to return.

As the first entry of the hamburger portion of this ongoing list, Ted’s cheeseburger is number one with a bullet, but will likely be displaced as soon as the next entry arrives.

GRAFT: Burgers
1. Ted’s Restaurant – Meriden, CT