H.M.S. howlingman is officially lifting anchor from the calm seas of Long Island and settling farther west on Long Island, in the vicinity of Astoria, Queens, in a matter of days.

I checked – there’s free internet there.

And a whole lotta Greeks. And glorious MATURITY.

In honor of this occasion I will regale you, as I occasionally do, with a poem I wrote:

O, New Apartment.
I don’t fucking
hate
myself in your presence.
I see more than a wall
through your win-
dow.
I can invite people over
for
food and television.
If it still goes to plan,
I shall soon find myself in you.
Thanks for not sucking at life.

Cheers, mateys.