Latent Truth #2: Whatkins?
Back from work, I’m about to prepare for myself my fourth mini-meal of the day: yet another ham sandwich.
Before I indulge myself, I’ll share a latent truth that’s been screaming at me for months and months, which had pissed me off so very greatly and was a driving force in my starting this blog to begin with:
The Atkins Diet.
Has anyone heard about it in the last few months? I haven’t. Bummer.
As usual, I was bothered by the fad, by the transience of the science behind this diet. I’m generally suspicious of anything that “sweeps” any area larger than two square city blocks.
I held my tongue at first, gave the diet a chance. People I knew were on it, and that was fine. It worked for most of them, too. Great.
But the concept went too far. When bakeries went low-carb, I went ballistic.
LOW-CARB BREAD. Holy shit, man. One day I woke up shirtless in a cold sweat in the bread aisle, which had been destroyed from top to bottom. I sent the supermarket a check.
Psst. Dan, this subject is so outdated and pathetic, and unimportant now. What gives?
Hush.
Now, I’m no genius. But it seemed to me that this diet, which was created 30 years ago, had something fishy about it. Something…random. Something…
Remember Mad Cow Disease?
Ding-ding-ding.
Oprah threw a fit when she didn’t get her calf-of-the-month, or something like that.
That one thing led to another, people were pissed off, and they stopped buying meat.
That was about five years ago.
Hmm. Beef scare? How about we (the men who rule the planet) introduce a diet that’s ALL MEAT? Would that be good for the beef industry, or as I call them, “Big Beef”?
Truth #2 extends beyond this apparent causal connection. Truth #2 encompasses everything we’re told to eat, and to drink, because it’s good for us. And the truth about those suggestions is:
They’re driven by economics, and not by people who care what you look like.
So fuck it, and fuck them, and fuck someone you love while you’re at it, y’know, to get some exercise.
The Food Pyramid? It’s changed again. Why? I think someone wants some wealth spread around.
How about years and years ago, when the pyramid was first made? What’s at the bottom, recommended in obscene doses that twice exceed other types of food? GOOD OL’, DOWN-HOME AMERICAN AGRICULTURAL PRODUCTS. Wheat, Etc.
Isn’t it possible that this is not a fucking coincidence?
That’s all I’m asking you to consider.
As for me, if I want meat, I’ll eat meat. It satisfies me, and it makes me strong. I don’t need a diet telling me it’s okay. I’m an animal, and so are you, so let’s not forget our heritage. Our BIOLOGICAL heritage.
I feel my best when I eat right and exercise. That’s a fact I figured out the only real way – by doing it myself. And I don’t drink too many servings of expensive, government-recommended, bottled water a day. No one said it was uber-healthy to drink this shit when it wasn’t being sold.
I appreciate your patience. Treat yourself to a snack.
And now I’ll have that goddamned sandwich.
1 Comment »
March 13th, 2005 at 9:24 am
Interesting ideas. But how many latent truths are observeable simply because they make sense?
In a fashion-obsessed culture, it doesn’t surprise me a bit that people might have latched onto a diet plan that offers a painless way of dropping a lot of weight, while all the time allowing you to eat bacon. Who wouldn’t want to get on board a diet like that? If some Agency is trying to push their meat-eating agenda…who are they? Are we seeing the meat packers selling lower-priced meats in grocery stores to make the diet more attractive? Ads on tv exhibiting the greatness of a meat-eating diet?
The other thing to remember is, it’s really hard to get people to do something if they aren’t naturally inclined to do it anyway. If someone came up with a meat-eating only plan to bolster the industry…well, for it to work, either it’s one of the greatest latent truth ideas of all time (I read something like 80 million people are on the diet), or else it’s simply an easy to follow diet that people like because they get to eat lots of hamburgers. Knowing how tough it is to force people to do stuff, I’d bet money that it’s that latter idea that holds more water.
I bought a sack of potatoes yesterday for .50 cents. A few years ago, these heavy paper bags were about 2-3 bucks here in Canada. Apparently, our potato farms have warehouses full of potatoes nobody wants to eat thanks to the diet…and selling them for almost nothing will probably encourage the return of a more carby diet, because there is no persuader so reliable as a low price.
-A