Onward, Christian
My start page showed me the headline “Slater Avoids Jail On Grope Charge.”
It took me four seconds to realize that A.C. Slater is not a real person and cannot therefore be indicted on any charges.
Slater, in this case and only in this case, means Christian Slater, star of True Romance and the epic Kuffs, which Tarantino steadfastly denies writing.
As the story goes, the actor grabbed the rear end of a woman on the Upper East Side. It’s a good thing he didn’t instead grab a breast because the punny newspaper headline would have made my head explode: “Woman’s Upper East Side grabbed on Manhattan’s Upper East Side.”
If this were fifteen years ago, and the star of Heathers went for a handful, I am sure the same woman wouldn’t press charges — she may have even reciprocated. Slater’s real crime here isn’t in the grope but in his reluctance to let go of celebrity. His carte blanche for harassing at his will has expired and yellowed. And for him, there’s no renewing it.
I also heard through the grapevine that this same woman was groped years ago by Jack Nicholson. But she thought Slater’s forcible touch just a pale imitation thereof, and deemed it punishable by law.
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